Episode 101 .

Say goodbye to me .

Let me share my episode for today.

Finally this morning, i cheered myself up. Apologising to boyfriend cause i;ve misled him much on how much i've changed. I knew it was painful to him, but it was much for me.

Met eqa for our girl's day out together. I was very bilthe! Got our hair extensions together , then i went to get my eyelash extensions. :) That was then i was excited to show boyfriend how i looked. I was sure he would compliment me.

Enough for the great afternoon, i headed home quickly for break-fast. As soon as i;m done, i look no further and rushed out if the house to meet boyfriend. "I was so excited tau nak jumpa you tadi. I wanted to embrace you, i nak sangat hug you. I rindu you so much. And i nak our day happy walaupun it;s very short. I wanted to see you badly. And i wanted to show my new look i got today. I was sure you suka. I want to see you smile hari ni despite of all yang happen earlier. I want you."

But, it was my carelessness again. I was about to cross over to his block when i realised i got three missed calls from boyfriend. At point of time, you tau, i was fucking scared you marah. Fuck mp3. I sumpah tak letak silent mode. Tapi, too bad, i didnt manage to assure you. In the end, you left me trudging back home sorang-sorang. I did tunggu for your reply at the bus stop, mengharap you would come and pick me. But that was my angan-angan sahaja. I was sedih sayang. Cause i thought you datang and see me. Tak pun, forgive me of my carelessness. CAUSE I NAK JUMPA YOU !

Sekarang, i can't even cry. Ini last goodbye you to me? Is this the last things you nak buat to me to just show your ego sayang? You have never did this. Kenapa sekarang. I pray hard you won't get into anything. Only Tuhan yang tahu how worried i am pasal you sekarang.

- NO raya this year

- NO orang to rant out my every feelings

- EVERYONE dah start to move away dari aku

I guess i have to bawak diri this raya. Where to i don't know.