Tik tik tik waktu berdetik
Tak mungkin bisa kuhentikan
Maumu jadi mauku
Pahit pun itu ku tersenyum
Kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku
Saat berhadapan kamu
Tik tik tik air mataku
Biar terjatuh dalam hati
Mauku tak penting lagi
Biar kubuat bahagiamu
Kamu tak tahu rasanya hatiku
Saat berhadapan kamu
Kamu tak bisa bayangkan rasanya
Jadi diriku yang masih cinta
Woke up by the sound of my phone this afternoon. And yes, shocked i was to see that the text message was from YOU. My heart was thumping hard, wondering what you texted me that noon. Apology was all i got. It doesnt matter whether the was an apology or not cause i know i failed as a person to make you at ease. I never failed to make mistakes, mistakes that will continuosly make you mad.
You are too busy, too preoccupied, too tired & now, too sensitive for the littlest things that came up. Tried to prevent things from happening but i was stupid enough to make it all happen. And now, i'm afraid to take your calls, afraid that i would repeat the very same things. I was in pain, hearing you talking with anger.
"Mauku tak penting lagi, Biar kubuat bahagiamu"
"My needs aren't important, just let me make you happy "
♥With Love, Sunday, August 30, 2009
I can't sleep. My eyes are all puffed up real bad. Why must it happen now? Why must I be the one who keeps on causing shits? I really should kill myself for being the way he hates me to be. Till then, this blog will be my companion. This blog would then be my boyfriend.
I never wanted to be that way you thought I did. I waited much for you, more than you can ever imagine. Every minute i kept on awaiting by the phone. Every time my phone rang, I jumped for joy thinking it might be you. Even when it got so late, sometimes i fell asleep. But as soon as my phone rang, I woke up hurriedly to talk to you. That was how badly i needed you all the while.
22 September 2009. Almost a month counting down from today, will be the day I hear from you sayang. All this time, I have never gone sick waiting for you. I will wait, wait for the day to come by, just for me to talk to you once again.
Never have I intended to create collision with you. I wanted to sound happy. I wanted to just talk to you. I never scolded you even if you never had the time for me, I tried my best not to be ego and understand you. You told me, you sacrificed much. But I dont know where will it get us next to from now. A month, that;s long.
From now on, i'll treat this blog as you dear. Every moment i spend during the day, would be written here. I guess, I ought to be more worried of who;s going to ask for your well-being every single day, and who's going to hear your every complains or problems you have everyday. And will i get more worried of who;s trying get their hands on you, that would be the greatest fear that would come true as a nightmare.
I love you.
terlalu sadis caramu.
♥With Love, Sunday, August 30, 2009
i believe 'distance' is what i'm falling for right now.
so,
please close the gap immediately.
♥With Love, Friday, August 28, 2009
Please, Believe Me .
I Ain't Lying .
I Will Always Tell The Truth .
why would i lie? trust is of the utmost importance. i would never ever do it. even white lies, i would not. i tried hard assuring you. please, believe every single word i say. i don't wanna argue no more. i don't want the chilly air between us. break the ice, be like before.
♥With Love, Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I Need My FARHAN Real Bad .
okay. exams are finally over. so yeah, i was real shagged with school and now summer break is here! ohh. Ramadhan is also here. Welcoming it with an open heart. I swear this Ramadhan, i'm opting for a better change within myself. i want the best for myself, so that others will be happy by my side. insyallah, may Allah bless me.
2 months break is already in. i once thought that i would rot at home BUT i was elated cause i've found a job at Cold Rock Ice Cream Parlour @ Holland V. so guys, come down and eat ice cream. hee. lovee is busy as well, for one month he's going to work at the Ramadhan Bazaar so yeah, both are preoccupied. meet-ups are done if necessary.
recently, a lot of mishaps happen to us. more girls are tryna get cool with him. and yeah. i was just too .. gosh. there's just no words to describe it. plus, with this hectic schedule, i admit i'm particularly more worried over things that are bound to happen if we dont spend time together. in fact, just only a few days, i just feel the gap between us. i just pray hard that things won't happen. maybe Allah is tryna test our patience in this fasting month.
whatever things that i've said, i hope you could understand. dear lovee, how am i supposed to tell you how worried and just how overprotective i am over you? do you ever realise that? i dont get mad without reason. what i just wanna tell you is that, i'm just too concerned and i get uneasy if i don't get that attention from you. you know now we dont spend much time together right? and i just can't see girls around you. i/m just too weak for that. you know how i feel. so i just want you to give the best for me. just what i need and expect from you. that's all what i asked for lovee. i need my FARHAN real bad. just be who you are to me right now.
♥With Love, Monday, August 24, 2009
aan loves dee.
we know it.
since last friday, both of us went busy and hectic ! hahas. yeah. it was planned. our schedule was crazyy! from bugis to orchard and bla bla bla. hahas. so friday, after school, met each other and we headed down to bugis and beach road. hahahs. we shopped for a number of things i shall say. lawl. boyfriend was finding for his side bag and we bought ourselves a pair of adidas wallet! yay! like finally. when boredom kills is both, our last resort was to catch a movie. G.I Joe was it. hahs. cool movie, guys go watch it!
saturday. hahas. yeah. both went downtown to orchard. before that boyfriend came over and we stayed in for quite sometime. he went snoring though. haha! so hard to wake him up. but nah, went down to get my laptop and like finally, i could finish up my school stuff.
SUNDAY ! hahas. HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE ! lawl. okay. sunday was kinda awful CAUSE we both started work damn early in the morning. at 5 am we woke up. hhahas. bloody hell. after done with work, went down to clarke quay and finally marina to catch the fireworks. the day spend was great. heeee.
And finally, today. hahas. i was supposed to meet my bitchlovee, Sya and do our project. so yeah. planned to hit Starbucks @ Jurong point. asked boyfriend to come along. heee. cause for the week we;re not going to meet. nevermind. remember, i'll not forget myself to miss you. =)
Dear Lovee, how am i supposed to tell you how much i love you? and yes. no matter what happens, i'll always love you till the day i die. i'm not kidding and i won't let shit happens along the way. our relationship is everything to me. that thing nearly rock our boat. it nearly did. if we didnt talked things out, i was sure enough i would be dumb enough to keep on thinking it happened. I'm sorry once again. And for sure, do remember that no matter what happens, i wont leave you, never. thanks for the great weekend together baby. and we know we trashed our cash on loads of stuff. but hell yeah, the time with you cannot be bought with money for sure.
&& I LOVE YOU MD FARHAN.
♥With Love, Monday, August 10, 2009
Dear Lovee,
Thanks for the very little changes you have made.
It's much much appreciated.
Thanks for doing your best.
I felt much more accepted and i have more confident in you.
If this is for the relationship, thanks to you.
Sorry for lately being not me.
I get too caught up.
But still, i want to be like i always do for you.
I apologise.
Dont get me wrong, there are no intentions to make you rage.
&& I Lovee You Always.
XOXO
♥With Love, Sunday, August 02, 2009
dosakah aku menghalangi kebahagiaan mu?
When i once Loved you,
you made hatred come to life.
you made my life be such a turnover.
you made me learnt to live such a hard life.
you made my heart break to pieces.
you made me change to a selfish, unsensible & such a hostile person ever.
Now,
when things starts to go my way,
when the world starts to separate itself,
when i should be happy living having my lease of freedom,
I suddenly felt hatred has changed to love.
It;s decided.
We're going to be apart.
Live your life and i'll live mine.
I hope you'll be happy with your new life ahead with your man & family.
♥With Love, Sunday, August 02, 2009
