Siti Love Farhan

moody.moody.moody.what the hell is wrong with me? am not the usual self today.things just dont feel right.moreover,3 teachers called up to me so called and asked me what happen.yeah.i dont even understand why siti is changing.i mean.looking at myself even,it kind of turns me off.i was hoping to joke around as per normal with my mates but i was lip-locked.gosh.i want the old me.well.literally i sat down and reflected on what i've done.finally,i got the answer.its the stress i got from my studies.yeah.im too overworked.sometimes till i got to burn the midnight oil.and when i dont get enough rest and becomes very3 sleepy,i just dont feel like turning up.that IS my freakin problem.i think i need to manage time well.yeah,maybe dont get too overworked and fucked up with studies.i need to study smart.sorry girlfriends for today!

Stanwyck's yearning for the best memories we had.

for today i didnt turn up for school.simply because there's some things here to be taken care of at home.didnt wish to tell people what is it about really.yeah.a little too private but as i can say right now, i'm happy for the someone.someone i lost once has now returned back to me.god's will.my prayers are all answered at last.my dearest Abg Emi is back with our family once more.IMY alot dearestt abg.promise me NOT to leave me again.

aan sygg texted me last night.as per usual,it's the same old topic we've been on about.the flipside of us basically.how things change and in turn changed us too,bigtime.happy for him to adhere to his bestie's advice & stuff.i hope that will work out well.IF he puts in effort and improve the state he's in right now.well.as for me.i dont quite realise and know how bad or worse ive changed.but yah.maybe i should reflect on that once more.

from my point of view.i feel something really is lacking.well.you could really sense the difference but yah.u just dont know how in the world to just approach it.signs have shown.they are all proven but yah.as i say.i just dont know how to.

my love for you dear darla has never fade away.but sometimes i dont feel secure by who you are right now.how i wish we can both go back to where we were before.im yearning for tha badly.if you could only hear my cries,of how badly i wanted things to be,that i guess would help a little.but they are all just eating me up inside.dear farhan,I LOVE YOU.

for the rest of the afternoon till late evening,i guess i'm up mugging.yeah.eventhough im in a mental trap right now,i got to be smart in how i want things to turn out.gosh.i need that peace of mind.seriouslyy.things are just getting on my way.well.that's for today i hope.now practically waiting for his text and call.*wondering where and how is he right now.*

the key to love in in our hands.

at 3 sharp after physics lesson today,i couldnt wait any longer but just to walk out from school and head home straight.basically fatigue has overwhelmed me based on how much I comcentrate and give all out in my studies.i know that i'm NOT studying smart.gosh.life couldnt get any worst with basically tons and tons of revisions to make.i know i did enough for my revisions but things cant get through my mind that easily.memorisations are just my weakness.got to put in extra2 effort to do it seriously.

emotional distress.yeah.it encircles everyone.once it does came to farah dear.but in god's will she could endure and overcome it well.dang.now its my turn.yeah.studies are basically my first priority but indeed others too come in as my top priorities as well.for example,my dearestt.the person whom i really love and basically who needs my fullest attention,guidance and love from me.im trying my very best to give him all that and yet,complications still arose along the way.disheartening as i would say for him to endure it but as it is,i'm always there for him.

i should say out love is holding on.by the fact of the promises that have been made and our heart's say as well.to me,he is the person whom i am searching for all this while.spending my days with him just feels as though im on top of the world.for us,complications in relationships does not arise from ourselves but from others.dang.sometimes anyone can feel as though they are giving up the very next minute but for me,i follow what my heart says.

sometimes it's kind of difficul for me to adapt with it too.yeah.studies are crammed up.what more our interpersonal problems we are having right.it does affect the relationship as such sometimes.he's sad & u, too, feels it too.it goes wrong if i am still happy and just couldnt be bothered right. come on, he's the man i love the most,Md Farhan.

i hope that this will end sooner or later.i just cant live up to it and yah,kind of seeing him being so different in a way or another.it hurts to see your loved ones in emotional distress.

i miss my daddy.i love you a lot,ayah!!!

started the day easy today.school was fine indeed.just caught myself in a spider's web because i just forgot to bring my assignment! lucky was i. ms govin didnt scold me.she gave a smile of sarcasm to me.hahs.cute her.today is crazyfriend's birthday.our dearest lamest tan chee how.happy 16th birthday friend!!mom den called up, asked me to pick up nana sista from school.yeah.she was sick and she wanna come home.responsible and caring i was to skip lessons and picked her.(hahs.so not me)

i miss daddy.wonder how he is right now.he kinda texted me just now and guess what??? my bill was like a 100 bucks!! nearly there i suppose!! now i gotta limit myself a little.its excessive and its all over the limits.basically i feel that i kinda took advantage of dad. only needed him when im in need.gotta change it yaw.its not what it is.

in school today i texted aan boyfee all the way.hahs!daily routine alreadyy.i thought he was late n forgot to wake up fer work but indeed,he did woke up.but he was kinda late.hahs.always.ure always like dat syg.our relationship is blossoming,growing stronger day by day.life couldnt get better by having him around.thats how much i love you dear.a lottt! hope to see you around soon.i miss you like crazyy alreadyy boyfee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

43rd day & i will always count fer more days to come by sygg.

Stanwyck's Love.

school was school.woke up and started the day fresh.met with faris bestie and den we both picked up dora dear before going to school. on the way there, i had the massive SHOCK of my life.dang.i FORGOT to bring my school tie. but literally, i wasnt alone. dora dear and faris bestie didnt too. yeah.datz so called accidental but faris bestie offered to buy us NEW ties.gosh.its plain waste of money but yah. if it wasnt him who helped rekindled the situation back to norm,we'd all have our MOST embarassing moment ever on our entire life. i was totally, seriously scared at that point of time, thinking that the bookshop will not open.gosh.i looked so crammed as though i was gonna pee in my 'skirt'.hahs.that bad seriouslyy.i wished someone could have recorded it.

in class today i spent most of my time i suppose, texting my sygg.hee.nothing better to do.n basically im plain bored thats why. basically that effing problem with that effing guy in school was irritating.damn it. it really is.could he ever just end it n put it aside. because of that message, it kind of spurred a miraculously big effing problem.gosh.i would most probably confront him one fine day if it gets worse.yeah.tell him the source of it probably.

fizah dear was kind of different when we went back just now. i hope nothing happened really.she seemed pissed of with someting.hmm.i dont know.im just assuming things.=)

FARHAN!!! hahs.i miss him really.gosh.dat day when we last met,it was hell crazy! hahs.went to literally 'bathe' in the rain.dang.my blouse was wet and i was pissed of cuz it kinda 'see-through'.hahs.we did spend our time together as per norm but i dont know that this time was different.hahs.we're just so diiferent.yeah.basically what we went through before made me realise. maybe both of us did.i was all-natural i suppose.that was when i got my arse spanked.gosh.dear2.that was mean.hahs! words still couldnt describe how much i love him. i truly do.=)

things wun happen again love.i love you so much.

every single day now means a lot to me. yeah. since the O level examinations are just around the corner it kind of triggered that inner 'wake up' call inside of me. gosh. imagine. only 2 months away? or maybe lesser than that? gotta fill my time mugging all out and yeah. get it all over and done with. finally the result. any exciting yet the anticipating moment in my life.

girlfriends are doing fine. dora dear kinda copyrighted my timetable. hahs. nah. i wouldnt mind if it does help her. fizah dear is doing fine too. farah dear as well. good to see ALL the LAZYBUMMERS to wake up! hahs. we a a bunch of procrastinaters and so, we gotta change our mindset!!!!

problems do occur in relationships and yeah. thinking about it, it kinda suck big time. i just hate it when we are in great tiffs. gosh.only god knows how i feel. but then & yet again, we have to compromise. our own ego sometimes make things even worst. if yah, you dont experience 'shit' in relationships it wuoldnt be healthly. but too much is not good too. i have learnt a lot from our reltionship sygg. it made me think about us and our future. i'll try my best to overcome everything with you. & ive realised, sharing is everything. sorry sygg to make u hurt the other day. didnt mean to do that to you. i knew i was being too self-centred.im sorry sygg. i love you.

it's our 41st day and we're still counting down.=)

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